In her Shoes
by Niicola-ox
Summary: So, here I am, trekking the unenlightened streets, half past ten on a Friday night. How did it come to this? This was never what I wanted, just a normal relationship, a normal life, a normal boyfriend, me to be considered a normal person...


**In Her Shoes**

So, here I am, trekking the unenlightened streets, half past ten on a Friday night. How did it come to this? This was never what I wanted, just a normal relationship, a normal life, a normal boyfriend, me to be considered a normal person, is that really too much to ask for? It appears so; the word normal seems to be alienated from me. My life feels like hell. I just want to wake up and find out this was all just a horrible dream. That's right it's just a dream. Yeah, right, I wish. It could never be that simple. Welcome to my life. The story begins here.

"Jessica, are you coming?" I heard someone call to me. I turned around, it was Matt. "So then, are you coming with me or moping around these streets all night alone?" he echoed, "Infact that's not an option, your coming with me, you can't stay here alone, I won't let you."

"Yes, ok, I'll come, not that I have a choice" I replied with a smile on my face, purposely avoiding answering his second question.

Yes that's Matt, my boyfriend, he's nineteen, yes I know what you're thinking, me being fourteen, there's something not quite right there, that's what everyone thinks to it, but no it's not like that with me and Matt, there's a connection between us, we've got something special. I love him, and I know he loves me, surely that's all that matters I often think to myself, but sometimes it just feels like the world's against us, even my parents are, I know it's worth it though, I just know, I've never felt like this before.

We walked off down the road together, hand in hand, side by side. I don't quite know where we are, or how Matt found me out here. "So then, where are we going?" I asked curios but quietly with a shiver in my voice. I'm cold, frozen infact, my face has turned pale and I'm shaking, my hands so cold I can't feel them and my fingers feel nonexistent. Matt had noticed, I could tell by the way he looked at me.

"Here have my jacket, I don't want you freezing" he responded whilst handing me his thick, cosy jacket.

"To my place if you don't mind, Ryan's there too, we can all sit and watch a film if you like, I'll let you pick"

Ryan is Matt's twelve year old cousin, he's alright I suppose, he tries to act like Matt at times, I guess he just follows in his footsteps, Matt's like a brother to him.

So I followed him through the gloomy, dull lit church yard and across to the other side of town to his flat where he offered me some hot chocolate to help me warm up and we all sat on his bed and put on a film. It was quiet, awkwardly so, I wish someone had said something, I hate it when it's like this. Someone knocked on the door and Matt got up to answer it. I moved slightly closer so I could hear what they were saying. "Hey, can I come in babe" I could hear, it was a girl's voice.

I turned to see who was stood there, and there she was, the last person I wanted to see, Lorna, standing there at the door with not a care in the world. Nothing new there however. "What are you doing here, you know I was spending tonight at home, go away, I want nothing to do with you, not now or ever again" Matt told her straight.

"Ooh well I'll let you and your dirty little slapper get on with whatever it is your doing then shall i, just remember it's me you wanted once and it could be again, you're doing yourself not justice here. They all just thing you've turned into a paedophile. I thought I knew you. I thought you were different. I hope you and your pathetic little girlfriend, if you can call her that, are happy together for the short remainder of the time that's left of your sad little lives." Lorna replied in anger.

Oh my god, that girl, I can't stand her, what is her problem. How does she have the guts to stand there and say such things, she's no better herself, worse infact. I know he's her ex and everything, but still, he finished her way before he met me. It's not my fault he finished her, I didn't even know him back then. Why does she have a problem with me? That's a question I'm guessing even she doesn't have an answer too.

Lorna went, slamming the door behind her. Ryan was sat there looking at Matt, then looking at me, his eyes glared backwards and forwards. He looked confused. I sat hoping Matt would say something to stop Ryan's confusion. "Ooh, I hate her. Why does she have to keep coming round like this, it's so annoying. She has no right. Look, I'm sorry, you know I love you and that's one thing she can't change no matter how hard she tries" Matt re-assured me.

It soon became late and I couldn't go home, I just couldn't, not with things the way they are. My mum hated me, and, well my dad, I think he could murder me right now. I'll have to stop at Brionie's for the night, I'll ring her, five minutes, just five minutes more with Matt, I can't go just yet, it feels like I've just got here.

"What time are you going home then?"Matt asked me.

"I'm not sure, I can't go, not tonight, not after what they've said to me, the way they've treat me, it will just make everything ten times worse." I replied unsure.

"You sure about that, it might make it worse not going, where are you going to stay? I won't have you walking the streets again."

"I'll text Brionie in a bit, and yes, I'm sure, it will give me chance to calm down, please just let me do this, just tonight, I promise I'll go home tomorrow."

"Ok then, but if you can't stay there with her, then you stay here, Ryan's staying over so it won't just be us."

"Yes, ok as long as you're sure, I'll let you know when she has replied."

I know he meant well, I guess he's just being there for me, but even so, he should know me by now, that's my decision, I've made up my mind and nothing will change that. I don't believe this, I'd never of imagined I'd be spending my years of been fourteen avoiding my parents because they object to my boyfriend, I mean, I'm meant to be having fun, enjoying life whilst I can. It just had to be different for me, just why?

Brionie had texted me back and given me the ok to stay over the night, but she was meeting Lorna at half nine tomorrow morning. I'll have to be gone by half eight. I went over to Matt who was sat in front of the television again to tell him what was happening, "Matt, I'm going to go and stay over at Brionie's for the night, but I'll have to go soon, I don't want to wake her parents, I've got to be out around half past eight though as she's going to meet Lorna and I'd rather not be around."

"Ooh ok, I don't blame you that sounds like a good idea, I'll walk you down there if you like, I don't want you walking alone at this time of night. How about I pick you up at the top of Brionie's road tomorrow morning and we can talk things through properly."

"Yes ok, that would be great, thank you."

I knew he was trying to help me, but if he walked me to Brionie's he would see Lorna. She lives on the same road. I'm not trying to get all over protected about this or anything, although it may seem like it at this moment in time. It's just I know what that selfish cow is like. Call me jealous all you like, but every time she contacts Matt I worry. What am I going to do; I can't go on like this. I trust Matt don't get me wrong but it's just her.

I got my things together and put on my white Nike trainers whilst Matt got a jacket for me."Right lets go, Ryan watch the end of this film then go to bed, I should be back in about half an hour, but I'll lock the door in case and if you need anything just ring me ok?" Matt ordered Ryan to behave as we left the room.

"OK, see you soon" Ryan yawned.

Off I go again walking the dark streets. This time I felt safer though, I had Matt with me, he makes me feel protected. As he locked the door he took my hand and led me across the icy roads and the crisp frosted grass towards Brionie's house, He felt me shiver and let go of my hand and put his arm around me allowing me to hug into him. Then I knew he had to go. We'd reached the top of Brionie's road and he had to go back, he knew I didn't want him to go down that road.

He spun me around to face him and held me tight for the last time that night, before he kissed me good night "I'll see you in the morning then Babe he kissed me good night, text me if you need me won't you?" Matt asked.

"Yes ok then, good night, I love you."

"I love you too."

We looked at each other and I stared into his deep brown eyes as I slowly walked away from him.

"Good night" I heard Matt whisper softly as he walked away.

I do love him, he's the best boyfriend I could wish for, I've never felt this way about someone before, I truly haven't. He's special, the one for me. I just hope this lasts, I couldn't bare it any other way, I'd be heartbroken without him.

I turned around to walk in the other direction towards Bryonies' house. The second he left me I wish I'd stayed with him. I could see a figure emerging from the distance, it was like a silhouette, a person with no face, all I could see was the outline, but nothing else.

No it can't be. "Just leave me alone!" I yelled in a cry for help.


End file.
